7 years

7 years of together great times...
laughing everyday with my best friend.
I can't ask for more because I have all I need.
Love you Spence!

Celebrating Liz & Together Time

Life changing

Being in the Bountiful Temple to get Liz her endowment was the best day. It was inspiring. The spirit in the temple was like a warm blanket just resting on us all. IT was inspiring to see so many family and ward members together in the Lord’s house. Liz was there and happy. I am so grateful I could be there that day.

Leaving the temple I had two impressions:

1.)The veil is thin. We can be close to all those who pass on before us. The separation is real but it isn’t far away. It struck Karyn and I both in the session and the strength of the spirit was incredible. Going to the temple will keep us close to all our Loved Ones, especially the Savior.

2.)Every time I have witnessed a death—especially one in our family, I have felt that it needs to be a turning point, an epiphany or a new starting place for making myself more congruent. I want to live better. I want to have my actions match my beliefs and my knowledge more often. I want to be better.

I decided this time I would pick specific things I can do better instead of just a nebulous ideal.

1.) I want to not complain but will count my blessings more.

2.) I want to speak to my children and my husband with more tenderness and patience.

No regrets that I wish I had taken more time to play instead of ask them to play together, or play later.

No regrets that I wish I had asked them more often what they think or how they feel.

No regrets with getting frustrated with attitude and sassy answers but instead responding in love.

No regrets that I didn’t love enough, or show enough love to my dearest family.

3.) I am going to learn a new skill every year. I was really impressed with how much Liz learned in her short 19 years of life. I need to get to work! There are a lot of talents I want to learn.

My niece Liz is a wonderful artist. She is so bright and worked hard to become. She read a lot of books. She liked animals and loved her family. I like that she was/is so tenacious. She loved and trusted. She learned to let people help her. She helped others the way they needed it. She is hopeful even when it is hard to be. She planned to be sealed to her sweetheart on July 10th. Her funeral was July 9th.

I like to think she didn’t lose the fight because the Victory was already won. She gave it her all and still came out on top even if the end came sooner than we hoped. There is no denying it was His will that she advance ahead of us, as there was no shortness of faith, prayers or fasting for her and her family.

I trust in God, and in His Son Jesus Christ. I trust in His Plan.

I count on the blessings of his infinite atonement and that families really are eternal.

Tender Mercies

July 2

I got a phone call from my sister Tracy. I asked her how she was. She said, “not good.”

I said, "Should we come now?”

and she said “I think you better.” I asked if she had talked to anyone else.

I told her we would take care of letting family know and we would be there to give her hugs as fast as we could.

Dad, Spence, Karyn and all the kids drove through the night and got there before 7:30am. Liz was struggling to breathe. Seeing her was excruciating. Last we had seen, talked and texted her, she was so alive and so hopeful and vibrant and the contrast now was tremendous.

She looked pained and labored just maintaining her oxygen. She moaned as she breathed and her skin was yellowing due to the liver failure.

Emma and Thane were amazing during our stay in the hospital room. They knew that we were in an important place and they were reverent as they sat with Liz. Emma and I spent a lot of our time holding hands with Liz or rubbing her feet with lotion. Her feet were thick, swollen and cold. Emma sat quietly and patiently holding Lizzy’s hand and keeping a half smile on her face. She seemed to sense the gravity pulling us all into reality. We have had lots of opportunities to talk about death and the resurrection and she didn’t seem scared or worried. She didn’t have the composure of a 4 year-old; it was more like 24. She and Thane would come to daddy and I and give us hugs then, go back and hold Liz some more. IT was a tender mercy that we made it in time to see Liz. IT was a tender mercy that our children were able to sit and let us soak in the time we had left with her and her family.

At 9am Brad, JD, Andre, Phil, Dad, Spencer, and Ben all circled around Liz’s bed. Brad choked on the emotion, and the significance of the moment, which then reverberated across the room. There were no dry or silent eyes. He gave his baby girl her final blessing and released her from her mortal body and her experience here. I cannot imagine it being more difficult.

I was silently humbled and draped with the spirit as the pain grew in intensity for all of us who would be left behind. It was a communing moment for me as we said our last goodbyes and gave her kisses and hugs.

Again it was a tender mercy to feel the surge of the spirit of God as I felt the flat emptiness of impending death. The spirit was there to comfort and console even as the holes of sadness and separation were opening.

It was difficult to see the pain of others…at the hospital, in the viewing, in the funeral, at the grave. It will be for a long time. The pain is not gone but gets dulled for a short time by the immediate needs of decisions, plans and oodles of family and friends. It is a Tender Mercy to celebrate life yet to be lived with those left behind and to have family and friends step in and do so much. What would we do without the love of others? Service was a repeated Tender Mercy.

We watched fireworks for the 4^th of July and thought about it as a magnificent send off and a commemoration of her freedom from her pained body.

She never did complain about the pain... even when the cancer had destroyed some of her vertebrae.

A Tender Mercy when we watched her young cousins sing "He Sent His Son" at the funeral. They were angels that day and they sang with their hearts and their voices perfectly in tune. It was AMAZING.

A Tender Mercy when we (adult family) sang " Be Still My Soul". We were not singing alone. There were others there with us in the third verse...

"Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."

The feeling while we sang that hymn together...I won't forget that Tender Mercy.

Emma asked me more about the resurrection…

She said ,”Mom, when will Liz come back to life?”

I said, “ in the resurrection.”

“Yes, but when is the resurrection?”

I said, “When Jesus comes back to earth again, then there will be another resurrection. No one knows exactly when it will be, dear, not even the prophet. We just need to live so that we can know Him when He comes and keep his commandments so we can have his spirit to help us.”

“How come Liz didn’t have to die on the cross to be resurrected like Jesus?”

“We don’t have to die the same way Jesus did to be resurrected. Part of His gift to us, is the gift of the resurrection. Because He died for us and rose again, we can all rise again and have a perfect body with no more hurts, owies, cancers, or sickness.”

“Oh.”

“But mom, I miss Liz.”

“I do too Sweetheart. Very much.”

A tender mercy because my 4 year old was thinking and is still praying for an understanding. She prays daily for Liz and for her resurrection.

Campbell Reunion 2010

We loved playing with family for most of June!
We made it out to Cannon Beach to enjoy the sand and wind...

We ran the Helvetia Half-Marathon together...

Played inside due to rain...

and took some family pictures...all before our week together in Bend!




cousins




Jodi & Bart

The Cullimore's...official on August 13th!

Jakey

Cawiee& Ant-ton-ee (as Thane says it)

Jen & Kent

Love this one of Jen

The Fabulous Five







The Whole Gang

Sooooo much fun! Thane has been asking for his "Abbeee" for weeks now. Every young girl/woman is named "Abbeee".
We love being together! Apparently we just had so much fun we forgot to get out our camera in Bend! Thanks for making it happen MOM & DAD!
We love our family and all the great times we have together.

Marathon with the Nestos

Spence is the MVP for this year's race as he drove in at midnight to get up with us at 5AM the next day. He rode his bike up and down the race course all day that Saturday, offering water, snacks, encouragement, stories, videos and pictures of/ to all of our family and friends running the race. He even found extra cups when a water station ran out! Of course he was also supportive of my long runs every week over the months preceding. The need to get more mileage sometime meant less time at night to be together. Thank you , Thank you, Thank you Sweetheart. You are a champion of my dreams and I so appreciate you believing in me and helping me.

My friend Esther ran her first marathon and we stayed together for most of the race. The weather was perfect and it was really fun to be outside and feel so good.

The real reason I signed up this year was so I could run with my sister in her first marathon.
Last year Spence and I ran together in Newport. I called Hilary and told her it would be an ideal first marathon. She said maybe. She braved injury and fatigue in training and on race day. I am so proud of my big sister and brother.

It is such a victory capstone for all of the months of training to cross that finish line. I ran in the last few miles with her, thrilled at her triumph.



You can hear Carrie, my other sister cheering in the video with Emma. She was so gracious in helping withe kids. Thank you so much Carrie and Anthony.

After Newport we came back to see the Rose Garden and visit St.Cupcake. We were glad to have the Nestos here and hope they will come back again.